More ups and downs

After my last post things have generally been on the up, but training has not been without its interruptions. I ended up with a very swollen gland in my neck and had another visit to the doctor. There wasn't any apparent cause for the swelling, but the Doc thought it might have been something like 'sand' in my saliva gland (a small piece of grit produced by the body in the same way that the kidney can produce stones). It was very painful and put me out of action for 4 or 5 days.

Thankfully the swelling and pain disappeared within a few days and just a few days later I managed to run a PB for 5km in training and things were looking up again. Then, just 3 days later I rolled my ankle at a rugby practice for the Colts team that I am coaching, when I stood on a loose piece of turf during a game of touch rugby. You must be kidding! I was really beginning to wonder if someone or somthing was trying to tell me to give up altogether. That put me out for another couple of days and by the end of the week I was also needing to rest my ankle again.

That was Friday last week and I had the Balclutha Half Marathon on Sunday. Somewhat foolhardily, I figured that I'd still give it a go and not only that, I set myself an ambitious target to shave some significant time off my PB.

Given the last month's events, I have no idea why I was so sure that I would be able to get anywhere near a PB, but I was very confident. I set the following targets for my splits:
5km        23:00 (all down hill)
10km      46:30
15km      70:30
20km      95:00
21.1km 101-102 (the last km is a real slog up hill)

To my very pleasant surprise, here is what I managed to do:
5km          21:57 (PB by 64 seconds)
10km        45:20 (PB by 2:34)

15km        70:01 (PB by 3:15)

20km        95:16 (PB by 3:36)
21.1k      101:02 (PB by 3:45 – based on corrected Cromwell time, only 1:34 better than actual Cromwell time, but it is definitely a shorter course)

I am stoked that I was able to achieve the pretty ambitious splits that I had set myself. The first part was faster than I had hoped to be doing as I got with a bunch that I could comfortably keep up with (and at times I even pushed them along a little). At about 3km I contemplated slowing to my target pace, but I felt strong and was able to stay with the bunch right through to 10-12km mark (when the group disintegrated anyway). Just as well I pushed a little harder for the first 10km as I was a little off target for the second and third 5km blocks. In the back of my mind I actually had 1:40 as my dream time for the day, but I knew that the last hill would be a major hurdle in achieving that. I gave it a bloody good nudge though. It wasn’t the perfect race, but getting up there in terms of knowing what my physical limits were and going right to those limits. I know that on the day I simply could not have gone any faster at any point of the race and I have never felt that before.

Average pace overall 4:47 min/km (11sec/km faster than my previous best pace).

In the meantime my weight is doing some weird things - up on Mondays and down on Thursdays, swinging as much as 2.5kg in 3 or 4 days. The upshot is that I have been hovering either side of 99kg for more than a month (as low as 98.2kg last Thursday and as high as 100.7kg the Monday before that). As is normal for me I am struggling a little with the nutrition plan. I am probably about 90% to plan, but it is the 10% that is letting me down. A 1:41 half marathon, though, has really spurred me on to lose more weight and acheive a 1:30 half marathon in the relatively near future.

Rediscovering my Mojo

Since my last post, almost three weeks ago, I have done almost no training. First, I got a cold that knocked me for six and then I completely lost any drive to train.

I simply loathed the thought of going to the pool and doing what seemed like endless laps and I really struggled to get any motivation to drag the bike out of the garage. However, I have managed a few runs over the last few weeks and actually really enjoyed them. In fact, I am craving just heading out and just running for as long as my legs carry me.

I can't pinpoint exactly why my motivation has diappeared, but I think that it is a reflection of a number of things. In an email to Coach Geoff, I wrote:

1: I think I am physically run down
My physical condition is not that flash at the moment. Aside from the cold, I have had a number of sores on my face and in my nose and I generally feel lethargic. My cuboid problem persists and my hip is not 100% yet either. I think this has been building for a while as I had been getting to Thursday each week of training and pretty much not having any energy at all for Thursday and Friday training. I am pretty sure this is a sign that I am physically run down.

2: I am mentally drained

This comes not just from training, but from life in general. A number of things buidling up at work, training, rugby, etc is making life pretty hectic albeit not as stressful as it has been in the past.

3: There is uncertainty around my ultimate training goal for this year
I am not sure whether I am going to be able to complete the training necessary for the full Challenge as there are some uncertainties around work and I don't know what demands it will place on my time. This is in the back of my mind all of the time when I train and makes it hard to commit to the session that I am doing

4: Some of my training no longer excites me

For the first time in well over two years, I dread going out for training. This is definitely true for swimming, sometimes the case for the bike, but only very rarely for the running.

5: I crave running

I still enjoy the running and actually feel myself craving to do some very long runs. I wonder if having a month or so with  a focus on running will reinvigorate me.

6: I still enjoy racing, but...

I received a comment on my blog the other day that has really kicked me in the guts and burst my bubble.

The comment was posted anonymously in response to my last post and went like this: "Oh pleeease!! Your times are very average, your trumpet blowing is getting annoying....spare us all!" I know I shouldn't have let it effect me, but it did. I deleted it as soon as I read it! I got angry! I felt depressed! But deep down I knew this hurt because it was true. I am nothing more than a very average athlete and right now there is nothing I could do about that.

In the past I would have used this sort of thing as motivation to spur me on, to train harder, to be faster. This time, though, I curled up in a (metaphorical) corner in self-pity.

On Tuesday, though, I rediscovered my mojo. I gave a lecture (the last of four on Challange Wanaka) to about 50 sports tourism students using excerpts from my blog to illustrate the emotional experiences of a Challenge athlete. As I read some passages, a lump came to my throat and my voice started to quiver. I got through, finishing about 10 minutes ahead of time, but exhausted and emotionally drained from the experience. As I did, a single clap came from the back of the room and then the entire class burst into brief, but heartfelt, applause. I nearly lost it right then and there, but managed to hold my composure. Then, in the lift back to my office, one of the young woman from the class said "That was a really inspirational lecture, thanks." In the two days since I have received two wonderful emails from two other members of the class thanking me for my lecture and for inspiring them to achieve. It felt fantastic!

Geoff has also worked out a new regime for me for the next couple of months that will focus primarily on running, with just a couple fo swims and one or two rides. It looks fantastic and has lots of nice short term goals in it to keep me interested. Running more should also assist in dropping my weight.

The outcome of this, however, is that it is unlikely that I will be doing the full Challenge Wanaka event in 2012. I will definitely be doing the Lake Wanaka Half and possibly one or two others over the summer, but, for the moment at least, I am in no state of mind to continue with the training necessary to pull off the full. I am both relieved and saddened at having reached this decision, but I want my next Challenge event to be the best I can possibly do and I know, even this far out, that I am unlikely to be able to give my full effort in 2012. My goal for Challenge is still the same - I want to make the top 20 in my age group - I am just being more realistic about when this might be (notice I said 'might', there is always a chance that I could upgrade my 2012 entry, should Geoff and I decide in a month or two that things are going well enough). Look out in 2013!

To be honest, I am really looking forward to doing the Lake Wanaka Half, as I am likely to be up against several people that I know: Lil Bro' Chris; James Brundell; another James; and even Coach Geoff. This makes me even more determined to be at a lean racing weight and to attain the target of under 20kg.

I've also started helping several mates with their training for various events. Two are old high school mates (Jas Wadsworth and Tony McAuliffe) who want to do the Moro Half Marathon in September, while my brother Chris and a friend from work Andrea Farminer have asked for advice on how to manage their training for the Lake Wanaka Half. It gives me a huge buzz to help these guys. I'm not promising any results, as my advice is pretty general stuff compared to the taylored specifics I get from Geoff. If nothing else it gives them a bit of structure and I am always their to motivate and encourage (or kick up the arse in the case of Tony).

It's been a really tough couple of weeks and I have had to dig really deep to get back on track, but I think that I am now heading off in the right direction, reinvigorated and recharged.