Nirvana

It's crazy to think that just 10 months ago I was contemplating spending the year training for the Lake Wanaka Half Ironman as my ultimate goal for the next 12 months to see if I might be capable of pulling off a full iron-distance triathlon and here I am in November sitting at the computer having completed my first half ironman and itching to do Challenge Wanaka in a little over 50 days. What is even more amazing is that a little over 48 hours after the completing the South Island Half IronmanI have little more than a few areas of chaffing and a bit of tenderness in my left calf: I feel fantastic!

Unlike any other race I have done, the weekend was the complete package: travelling up with Coach Geoff discussing tactics, racing and the meaning of life; preparing our gear for the race (sometimes in our own wee world and other times sharing our thoughts); sussing out the course the day before; catching up with other triathlon mates/acquaintances at the mote; bettering my own expectations on race day; and then, pigging out at Macca's without feeling the slightest bit guilty (Geoff and I worked out we would have to have eaten at least 10 Big Macs to replace the energy we had burned during the race).

The race itself was an amazing experience, full of emotion, excitement and physical challenges. There is obviously too much to discuss here, but there were some moments in the five and half hours that will be etched in my memory forever. So, rather than give a blow by blow description, I have selected the most poignant and emotional moment. In my mind, I had imagined that I would be most moved by crossing the finish line. I was emotional as I crossed the line and could only manage 'Half way there - bring on Challenge Wanaka!' over the PA when the race director asked me how I felt (any more and the emotion would have boiled over). However, nothing at all could have prepared me for what I experienced at the start line:

Approximately 8:20am - Race Briefing, Lake Hood, South Island Half Ironman.

The race director has been giving instructions for the last 7 or 8 minutes and, to be honest, I haven't taken much of it in. I know that the swim course is completely different to what Geoff and I had thought when we came down to the lake yesterday, but the rest has not registered at all. I have spent most of the last 10 minutes in 'the zone' looking at people but not really registering who they are, hearing the briefing but not really listening and knowing that it is cold and breezy but I can't feel anything. My attention is grabbed momentarily as I spot Rachel Harris, who has provided the most amazing virtual support through myblog, and I briefly contemplate going to introduce myself, but in an instant I decide that this would only be a distraction that I cannot afford.

Suddenly a sea of black wetsuits and multi-coloured swim caps begins to slowly pour down the bank towards the lake and my fellow competitors begin to enter the water. I find myself drifting along peacefully in the tide until my feet become immersed in the warm and comforting waters of Lake Hood. I pause... Then, dive head-long into the dark, yet inviting water.

Time stands still and I am overcome by an amazing and utterly awe-inspiring sense of calm. The water ripples across my cheeks and I am surrounded by bubbles that seem to glisten like stars. Still submersed, I pull one breast stroke and glide effortlessly amongst the shiny tan weed. The moment seems like an eternity and I don't want it to stop.

This moment is the start of a new beginning and the end result of a lot of hard work. My journey is just beginning, but I have arrived. I feel immensely powerful and incredibly vulnerable all at once. I am ready for, yet apprehensive of, what lies ahead. I am fearful, but not afraid. I should be nervous, but I am at peace. This is nirvana. Whatever lies ahead, all the training, all the sacrifice, all the pain has been worth it for this moment.

I am blown away by the power of what could have been no more than 5 or 10 seconds of bliss. Come 15 January 2011, I will use this to focus my mind and give me strength.