A couple of days ago I experienced my first doubts about my ability to pull this off. I know I want to do this. I know I have to do this. I know I NEED to do this. But there is this little voice off in the distance just chipping away saying: "Who do you think you are? You're no athlete. You must be kidding yourself if you think you can do this."
It doesn't help that I have been feeling like crap the last few days. I am certain its just a bug that has gone round the family (I am the last to have had it), but that little voice has been saying: "Maybe your training too hard. Maybe your body is trying to tell you that you can't do this."
Having now read both Dean Karnazes book (Ultramarathon Man) and Tracey Richardson's inspiring book about her journey to Ironman NZ and the Hawaii Ironman (Going the Distance, see video) I know that these are normal thoughts. Both talk about the voices of doubt and both deal with them. I know I can deal with them too, as I have encountered them before: when learning to walk again; when trying to complete my PhD; when doing the Christchurch Half Marathon earlier in the month; and even when starting to write this blog. I just hope the voices don't get too loud too soon, it's still more than six months to race day.
Tomorrow night I am off to a presentation by the Challenge Wanaka team and I am sure that this will send those voices packing (for the meantime at least). Once again inspired by Tracey Richardson and Dean karnazes, I am also working on an idea that will help me give back through the Challenge and through this blog. This has started to develop some real energy inside of me and is filling me with lots of positive thoughts (more on that in the coming months, I hope).
2 comments:
Ahhh yes, the doubts! I had lots of moments in my build-up to Challenge Wanaka when I doubted my ability. Those wee seeds never go away fully, but have faith that in January, it WILL all come together because that's what you have trained for, and all those internal demons will be silenced once and for all. I'd share my old blog posts with you, but they may only serve to make you more nervous!! :-D
Enjoying your blog - keep it up!!
Thanks for that Rachel. I have now read your bog entry about Challenge Wanaka 09 and, rather than put me off, it has given me more confidence. Every time I read about how others have done it I am more motivated to, as Tracey Richardson puts it, 'face the fear and do it anyway'.
PS Love your motto! :-)
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